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YinGinanen Sanen

[ website | YinG Sane Industries ]
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[Links of Greatness| Mastermind Records (my site) Trip Hop Music ]

Soup Nazi [Jul. 21st, 2006|01:05 am]
YinGinanen Sanen
I'm becoming increasingly disgusted with this world.

The values, aspirations, hopes, and dreams, or rather, the lack of all of the above.

My eyes are being opened to a new view, one more pathetic than I imagined.

What I'm seeing is uninhibited truth, it is so digusting.

I will not adjust to this view, no I cannot. 

I'm actually feeling sorry for everyone else now, instead of myself.

I can't be the only one who feels this way.
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sinking sinking sinking [Jul. 18th, 2006|04:02 am]
YinGinanen Sanen
well u know the shit i need to talk about, i don't even want to talk about. well i am free.
she has moved on 
time for me to


anyway it's hard to come down off of that when u thought u had finally reached a goal u found the one
hard to let that shit go and face the truth, huh janee?

still holding on to that hope that he will change? u know what i think about that particular girl i think she fucking likes starting shit with him, that makes her want him even more when he's messing around on her and they argue and get pissed off, then when the audience leave they go to the back and fuck the shit out of each other. she likes that shit.  Matter of fact that's what i've come to learn, this is what i ve been thinking and then when i came home today sex and the city was on and she was complaining about how there's no anxiety in her relationship and it's killing her.

I have not met a female that doesn't want to be dogged out. i'm starting to believe most women want their man to dog them out and to be imperfect. it gives them something to do something to complain about and makes them want them even more.  Doesn't anyone want to find 'the one' ?  I guess not until their 30 s 
You know I wish fedex would hurry up and mail me that letter telling me they ain't hiring me.
So i can squash that hope and move on.
my vacation was life changing
i just burnt the shit of of my leg with the rechargable batteries in this keyboard... ow....
well
i went clubbing
i went to the movies with kaliyah and courtney them
then i went to the movies with my cousins and aramis
aramis was jealous i be texing kaliyah ahaha wtf is she going to do with him?
i've been thinking about calling someone.... someone 'she' told me not to talk to anymore so i pretty much just didn't call her after we met
how rude? she probably wasn't interested in me anyway

ANYWAY

some guy hit my CAR ON MY WAY TO WORK TODAY WHY DO THESE NONE DRIVING PEOPLE CONSTANTLY WANT TO FUCK UP MY NEW CAR
and the shit ain't working right it may be the shocks or something

ahah some lady on a call said 'wow u type fast'
i'm going to try to pass these two courses
even if fedex don't hire me i mean it could go either way i would have to stay with these sucky hours but i could get tuition reimbursement next month smile

it's just hard to get over

that fucking feeling
that sinking
fucking
feeling
in my stomach that fucking feeling won't go away
that empty fucking shit
the only way to make it fade is to fill it with hate
so she broke up with me and oh now she reaching that age she needs to talk to boys
i don't even want to know anymore
sinking
fucking
fuck the shit there's the anger AHAHA
nevertheless greatness will overcome
i have not said that in so long.
i have not thought it in so long.
yingsane almighty, the epiphany of greatness. I am the bringer of desolation. Now i have songs to write about. lets' redirect our focus. smoke the hocus pocus. Sinking ugly unfairness.
anger replaces the hole
yeah!? well ya wasn't shit to be worked over anyway. everyone will put that work in before it's over. I can't have that, blinded.. janee is blinded too. that dick keeping her there ahahahahahaha that shit funny but sad! my personality is so different if she was with someone like me she would probably miss arguing.  wait no i can see us arguing about how lazy/trifling i am LAWD i need to clean my house.
night time
mr. executive
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IP FOREPLAY FO 6969M PERSON STROKING PLS QQ GA [Jun. 29th, 2006|04:06 am]
YinGinanen Sanen
Hello this is Ip foreplay opr 6969 with a foreplay call, do you know how to foreplay?

I Will explain.

you are receiving a call from a person who is using a condom   the person will be fucking and i will be taking the dick for you.  when you hear the words suck the head, it is ur turn to cum. pls stroke more slowly and in the doggy position because u are stroking directly in the position. I will fuck everything I feel in your behind. When you are finished stroking and ready to cum, say, suck the head, which will signal the person to shoot their cum inside of you. foreplay will begin now ga
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bye libertyland [Jun. 27th, 2006|03:20 am]
YinGinanen Sanen

It just registered to me that liberty land is gone.


Why did they have to close liberty land? That was like a a huge date place.

Especially the little water tunnel drop (flash back to previous posts this time last year)

I could be doing this now.

 

:-( bye liberty land

 

I wonder will the fair still come? probably not.

 

 

Memphis sucks now we don't have an amusement park the closest one is hot springs

 

I loved that fucking white roller coaster with the fucking loops and upside down and shit

 

Bye liberty land :-(

Bye water tunnel

BYE > :-(

 

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indeed [Jun. 27th, 2006|02:44 am]
YinGinanen Sanen
indeed i regained support for money is power. And there's alot more people who want to be in it. Now it's all up to me. I've been thinking of revisions for the script at work. I just need to print the shit out. It helps pass the time when i'm thinking about that shit.  Fedex dude didn't fucking call me back like he said he would. I'm afraid i may have missed an opportunity. Fucking shit.
Nevertheless, i'm having 2 weeks of vacation from work starting the day after the 4 th. U know i gotta get that time and a half plus holiday pay= 25 dollars an hour.  My check this week is grossing almost 1 G pimping. 996  the fucking government cut it down to 830 in my pocket.  and will be going right back out.
I need to wake up early, go over my mom house, print out the script, then go to work early and order this new cell phone.

I think i broke my agreement, that's why i may have missed out.
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Money is power [Jun. 25th, 2006|03:51 am]
YinGinanen Sanen
Today I will try to gain support in continuing production on mip

I finally got around to editing the clips that were shot 2 years ago, i've regained motivation in making this. And it opens an opportunity,  the movie will begin with keveon telling about events that happened 3 years ago and then lead up to the awesomely planned finale. It would be suitable since everyone actually will be 2 years younger when showing previous clips adding to the realism.  Real movies use make up to change appearances over time, but this will actually be true. I may end up doing something I regret tmw morning.
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get rid [Jun. 18th, 2006|05:21 am]
YinGinanen Sanen

When you get horny u start regretting shit


Hasn't even made an effort to conact me


I'm going to come through tmw just to see 


This may have been a good decison

But you know, it just would be proving everyone right, her mom especially


I can't be with someone just because of my pride


I'm coming to the point where I'm realizing that decisions I make now will map out the direction the rest of my life goes

Anyway


I'm going to pay someone to clean my house up


I think I'm a chain smoker lol lord this is an example of stuff that will effect my life.





lol i made a lil instrumental song of my last post,  my distorted voice over an instrumental repeating these lyrics



The thinker thinks oh yes he does
The thinker thinks that this is love
I have come from where I am
Executive oh yes I am

You're the one who let me down
You're the one who let me go
you never cared or gave a damn
Executive oh yes I am

The thinker thinks oh yes he does
The thinker thinks that this is love
I have come from where I am
Executive oh yes I am

I'm the one who let you down

i'm the one who let you go

I never cared or gave a damn

Executive oh yes I am

They can't stop me 
They can't stop me 
They wanna top me
They can't top me

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such an inspiration [Jun. 15th, 2006|01:46 am]
YinGinanen Sanen

There is a man within this man

The man of focus is the thinker

the thinker thinks at night and throughout the day



The thinker thinks about the past the future and the current

So, throughout the last few sessions of pondering this existance, while planning the various details of the future, one subject has been constant upon the thinker's thoughts

This relationship that the man has devoted so much time into building, but it seems to be fading away.

So the thinker pondered, and thought, and wondered, why does the man feel as if the relationship is fading?

So in order to reach his answer, the thinker first pondered the meaning of a relationship.

First we must isolate the type of relationship we are talking about, we are searching for the meaning of a relationship between a man and woman who are in love.
Love? The thinker also pondered the meaning of love, which will be later discussed.

First, what do people who 'say' they are in love want out of the relationship with each other.

Some people are in relationships for sex, some people are in relationships because of what the other person can do for them, some people are in relationships to feel loved, some people are in relationships just because they don't want to be lonely, some people are in relationships just to brag and feel popular because of the person they're in the relationship with.
One or more of these factors could satisfy a person long enough to maintain the relationship.

After stating these factors, the thinker decided to chose from these factors which one the man and the woman are seeking in the relationship.  Since it is the easiest decision, the thinker started with the man.   Of course, the man seeks a combination of all of these factors in the relationship. Don't all of us want a combination of all of these? but when every factor does not exist, we must list them by priority.

Of course the man wants sex, but if that is not possible, the man would more than happily be satisfied with just, felling loved.  So in this case the thinker has decided that the man's priority is feeling love.

Now, the thinker went into detail into the explaination of love.  He came to the conclusion that love is best defined by the expected behavior that is exhibited by those who are in love.  Mainly, people who are in love want to see each other, be around each other, and thereby certain actions and physical behaviors makes that person feels loved.

The thoughts of the thinker became clouded.

So he wondered, which of these factors did the woman want in this relationship? Why did she want to continue it?

I don't have the strength, nor the patience to go through the whole thought process. The thinker, he is still puzzled....  But seeminly by the actions of the woman, it appears that what the woman is longing in the relationship, or rather, the factors with the highest priority would be 'what the other person can do for them' .

So, what is the woman getting out of this relationship currently? She is getting what she wants, so therefore she is satisfied.  But the man is not satisfied. He wants to feel loved, and he is not getting that feeling.

If you love someone and you haven't seen them for a long time wouldn't u be excited when they showed up and hurry to meet and greet them?  If whenever you see the person you loved you could care less that they're there, you totally ignore them, you make it seem as if you're embarassed that the relationship exists, but still say you love them in private,  or   when u want something for them, it is apparant that you are not in the relationship for love.  Or that you show any real affection for the other party at all

The thinker thought on the future,  was it worth it?  
The man was willing to bear through hard times, without being fulfillied with all of the other factors of a good relationship, as long as that one priority existed, as long as he felt loved, he could go without sex, he knew that he would be getting nothing from the woman, he would go through the embarassments, the hard times, the stress, as long as he felt loved. But what if he didn't feel loved? Then what was left? what was the point?  Why should this relationship still be sustained? for a short while he sustained the relationship just as not to feel lonely, but truly, this was not a priority...  
So this one statment came from the thinker, and became the motto of the man.

I would rather be alone, than to be with someone I loved, and who did not truly love me back.

The thinker also came up with alternate reasons behind the woman's actions.. Maybe she did not know how to express herself,  maybe she is constantly afraid to do so because of her situation because at one point the relationship was hidden..  But now, it is in the open, for everyone to see, and for everyone to see how she denies him openly, but persuades him secretly.   There is no longer an excuse.

So therefore, it is determined that it is not worth sustaining.

The thinker thought of the future.
The time wasted here could be used actively building a relationship with another.  What if it turns out that once she is truly free that she will leave the man anyway. That thought has always been calmed by the feeling that true love did exist in the relationship. That is no longer an excuse.

So it is determined, that it is no longer worth sustaining.

It is a waste of time.  



You're such an inspiration for the ways that i will never ever choose to be



oh so many little ways






I broke up with her today


emotionless, unloving, no reaction


june 14 



I asked what are we getting out of this relationship, no ans



1 year 2 months 2 weeks





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