There is a man within this man
The man of focus is the thinker
the thinker thinks at night and throughout the day
The thinker thinks about the past the future and the current
So, throughout the last few sessions of pondering this existance, while planning the various details of the future, one subject has been constant upon the thinker's thoughts
This relationship that the man has devoted so much time into building, but it seems to be fading away.
So the thinker pondered, and thought, and wondered, why does the man feel as if the relationship is fading?
So in order to reach his answer, the thinker first pondered the meaning of a relationship.
First we must isolate the type of relationship we are talking about, we are searching for the meaning of a relationship between a man and woman who are in love.
Love? The thinker also pondered the meaning of love, which will be later discussed.
First, what do people who 'say' they are in love want out of the relationship with each other.
Some people are in relationships for sex, some people are in relationships because of what the other person can do for them, some people are in relationships to feel loved, some people are in relationships just because they don't want to be lonely, some people are in relationships just to brag and feel popular because of the person they're in the relationship with.
One or more of these factors could satisfy a person long enough to maintain the relationship.
After stating these factors, the thinker decided to chose from these factors which one the man and the woman are seeking in the relationship. Since it is the easiest decision, the thinker started with the man. Of course, the man seeks a combination of all of these factors in the relationship. Don't all of us want a combination of all of these? but when every factor does not exist, we must list them by priority.
Of course the man wants sex, but if that is not possible, the man would more than happily be satisfied with just, felling loved. So in this case the thinker has decided that the man's priority is feeling love.
Now, the thinker went into detail into the explaination of love. He came to the conclusion that love is best defined by the expected behavior that is exhibited by those who are in love. Mainly, people who are in love want to see each other, be around each other, and thereby certain actions and physical behaviors makes that person feels loved.
The thoughts of the thinker became clouded.
So he wondered, which of these factors did the woman want in this relationship? Why did she want to continue it?
I don't have the strength, nor the patience to go through the whole thought process. The thinker, he is still puzzled.... But seeminly by the actions of the woman, it appears that what the woman is longing in the relationship, or rather, the factors with the highest priority would be 'what the other person can do for them' .
So, what is the woman getting out of this relationship currently? She is getting what she wants, so therefore she is satisfied. But the man is not satisfied. He wants to feel loved, and he is not getting that feeling.
If you love someone and you haven't seen them for a long time wouldn't u be excited when they showed up and hurry to meet and greet them? If whenever you see the person you loved you could care less that they're there, you totally ignore them, you make it seem as if you're embarassed that the relationship exists, but still say you love them in private, or when u want something for them, it is apparant that you are not in the relationship for love. Or that you show any real affection for the other party at all
The thinker thought on the future, was it worth it?
The man was willing to bear through hard times, without being fulfillied with all of the other factors of a good relationship, as long as that one priority existed, as long as he felt loved, he could go without sex, he knew that he would be getting nothing from the woman, he would go through the embarassments, the hard times, the stress, as long as he felt loved. But what if he didn't feel loved? Then what was left? what was the point? Why should this relationship still be sustained? for a short while he sustained the relationship just as not to feel lonely, but truly, this was not a priority...
So this one statment came from the thinker, and became the motto of the man.
I would rather be alone, than to be with someone I loved, and who did not truly love me back.
The thinker also came up with alternate reasons behind the woman's actions.. Maybe she did not know how to express herself, maybe she is constantly afraid to do so because of her situation because at one point the relationship was hidden.. But now, it is in the open, for everyone to see, and for everyone to see how she denies him openly, but persuades him secretly. There is no longer an excuse.
So therefore, it is determined that it is not worth sustaining.
The thinker thought of the future.
The time wasted here could be used actively building a relationship with another. What if it turns out that once she is truly free that she will leave the man anyway. That thought has always been calmed by the feeling that true love did exist in the relationship. That is no longer an excuse.
So it is determined, that it is no longer worth sustaining.
It is a waste of time.
You're such an inspiration for the ways that i will never ever choose to be
oh so many little ways
I broke up with her today
emotionless, unloving, no reaction
I asked what are we getting out of this relationship, no ans
1 year 2 months 2 weeks